New York gives married spouses automatic inheritance rights, a right to make medical decisions, and a tax-free transfer at death. Unmarried couples get none of that by default, no matter how long you have been together in the same NYC apartment. That gap is the source of nearly every mistake below.
Mistake 1: Assuming your partner will inherit
If you die without a will, EPTL Article 4 intestacy distributes your estate to legal relatives, parents, siblings, and others, but never to an unmarried partner. A couple who shared a Brooklyn co-op for fifteen years can find the surviving partner inherits nothing and may have to leave the home. Only a valid will under EPTL §3-2.1 (signed at the end, witnessed by two people within 30 days) or a trust can leave assets to a partner.
Mistake 2: Holding the home the wrong way
How you title your NYC home matters enormously. Tenants in common means each share passes through that owner’s estate, possibly to relatives instead of the partner. Joint tenancy with right of survivorship passes automatically to the survivor. Married couples can use tenancy by the entirety, but unmarried couples cannot, so the titling choice must be deliberate.
Mistake 3: No health care proxy for your partner
Without a health care proxy under PHL Article 29-C, your partner has no legal right to make medical decisions for you, and the hospital will look to your blood relatives by a statutory priority list. Each partner should name the other as proxy, with a backup, and discuss wishes in advance.
Mistake 4: No power of attorney
If one partner becomes incapacitated, the other cannot access accounts or pay shared bills without a power of attorney under GOL §5-1513. Without it, your partner may have to seek a court guardianship while household expenses pile up. Execute durable powers naming each other.
Mistake 5: Forgetting the estate tax disadvantage
Married couples transfer assets to each other estate-tax-free. Unmarried partners do not get this marital deduction, so a transfer at death counts against the New York exclusion. The 2026 exclusion is $7,350,000, and the cliff near $7,717,500 wipes out the exclusion entirely above that threshold. Couples with significant combined assets in NYC should plan around this with trusts and lifetime gifting.
Mistake 6: Relying only on beneficiary forms
Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance are powerful tools for unmarried partners because they bypass probate. But people forget to update them. Confirm your partner is named where you intend, and remember these forms override your will.
Avoiding probate together
A revocable trust under EPTL Article 7 lets you transfer assets to your partner without probate in the Surrogate’s Court, which keeps your arrangements private and out of the reach of contesting relatives. It avoids probate but does not by itself reduce estate tax.
Consult a New York attorney
For unmarried couples, estate planning is not optional, it is the only way to give each other the protections the law reserves for spouses. A qualified New York estate planning attorney can put the right documents in place before they are needed.
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